I have decided to post my comedies on this blog, or blawgg, as Mesonak puts it, as I just read his. I will put in my blog the first 19 chapters of my first comedy.
A HelloUniverse Coporations Production...
BIONICLE: Sheer Awesomeness!!!
Prolouge: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... REWIND THE STORY!!! NOW!!! THIS IS NOT STAR WARS!!! ALL UNITS FIRE AT WILL!!!! (Officer Will gets shot by bullets.) Ahem...
500,000 years ago... "All units fire at will!" shouted the commanding officer, which if people remember him from the last sentence, Will. The soldiers shot at their commander, as that was their orders. They were halted by an attacking frostelus, which seemingly appeared from nowhere, and started shooting it instead.. "Hey!" it shouted, in perfect matoran. "I'm the author's RPG character, I'm important to the plot!" Strangely, the soldiers forgot their job, but awakened to reality by Daleks. Calling upon their powers of ownedage, they summoned *drum roll* BIONICLES!!! Vakama, Tahu, Jaller and Nuhrii jumped out, weapons at the ready. "Halt! Doctor Who characters shall not pass!' Vakama told the Daleks in a rather un-majestic voice. "EXTERMINATE!" the Daleks said repeatedly as they advanced. "Quickly!" Nuhrii shouted to the others. "Go up the stairs! Daleks can't climb stairs!" Unknown to them, Nuhrii watched Doctor Who, or read it on wikipedia, but hey, who cares. The soldiers and Toa ran after the matoran, leaving Will to his doom. As quick as they could move, they surrounded the Cheese Pizza of Awesomeness. Too worried about facing Daleks, they never saw a egg shaped head move towards the pizza.
Chapter 1: Peanut Butter Jelly Time "Yo Dermott!" a voice shouted over. 'Dermott', as he was called since no one actually knew his name, which was R.D, which stood for Random Dude. Yep, his last name was dude and his first name was random. Luckily no one knew his first name and assumed his last name was Dermott. Looking over, he leaped backwards in shock and crashed into his brother, Andrew. Lucky for him, Andrew was actually his first name. What had frightened him was the Dancing Bannana from the ever-famous 'It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time' song. "How the heck did you know my name?" he told the bannana. He then remembered for serious matters. Looking behind him, he saw his brother squashed under him. "Sorry bro," he apologized to Andrew. Turning his attention back to the bannana, it began singing a song. "Uh oh," exclaimed R.D as he and Andrew got sucked into a vortex of sheer awesomeness, while the tune of 'It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time' played.
<Insert It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time Music here>
A few dimesions of time later, "Oh my god! Stephen Hawking was right! There are such things as wormholes!" R.D started doing a jig. Did I forget to mention he is a freak of physics? Behind him, his brother Andrew was not so happy. He had just opened his locker to get his 'Tools Of Doing AnythingTM.' and his 'ownedAGE' book so he could steal the math teacher's candy when he had been sucked into a place where candy probably did not exist. "Halt! Doctor Who characters shall not pass!" shouted a rather familiar voice. Swiftly turning around, Andrew and 'Dermott'(We'll call him that for the rest of the story without quote marks) saw our good friend, Toa Metru Vakama. Staring at each other, the brothers knew that they were not on Earth anymore, or that this planet had candy.
After a long explanation on how they had gotten here, Vakama brought the brothers to Zaphos, my RPG character, and the frostelus that had appeared in the first paragraph. "Hello Non-Biomechanical beings," said Zaphos to the brothers. "Welcome to RANDOMVERSE!!!" The brothers stared at each other and then at Zaphos, " ," was the only reply they had. Finally after many minutes, Dermott spoke, "Would I own this universe since my name is Random?" Vakama and Zaphos looked at each other and burst out laughing. They laughed so much that they...well if BIONICLES could...leaked. "Now time for more serious matters," said the frostelus, reverting into serious mode. "You have come here because an awesome thing shall happen. Many years ago, I had joined a space-station orbiting this planet to protect the greatest artifact in the multiverse: The CHEEZE PIZZA OF AWESOMENESS!!!" Zaphos' face turned grim. "But members of a evil organization, whose name I shall disclose, ' Aeroplane Jelly', wanted to use the pizza to take over the multiverse and beyond.
<FLASHBACK> Zaphos' trained senses heard something, turning around, he saw something he feared the most. "HOLY MULTI-MULTI-MULTI-MULTI-MULTIVERSE!!!" he exclaimed. The others heard his exclaiming and turned, they exclaimed too. Before them was a being bigger than 3 Mt. Eggerests, armored with eggshells, armed with weapons on pure egg, a ferocious egg head and eggy eyes. It was a terrifying sight, for it was EGGATRON!!! <Insert echo> With the guards too scared to move, it reached for the pizza, but he was stopped by a powerful blast of milk by... "OMG, itz M1lKy Nu1!!!" exclaimed Jaller. "AW3S0M3!" shouted spme other soldiers. But the blast also hit the pizza, splitting it into pieces and sending it into the many multiverses. <END FLASHBACK>
"So," continued Zaphos, "The pieces of the pizza knew something awesome was happening, so took on the forms of popular memes in the universes, taking some of their people and teleporting them here, to the head universe. You guys are the last beings I need to explain this to." Before Zaphos could continue his speech, Andrew had a question, so interrupted. "Firstly, if the pizza is the greatest artifact in the multiverse, wouldn't it be un-great beyond the multiverse?" Dermott looked at his younger brother with pride. He never knew Andrew was capable of logical thought without the presence of candy. Zaphos looked at Vakama for a bit and then shook his head. "Never mind that, but follow the dog to a place where you will find out more." Acknowledging him, the brothers left the room and followed the dog to a destination revealed in the next paragraph.
There destination was a meeting hall full of beings from the many multiverses. Andrew looked around in awe, even at the beings from a show that had given him nightmares for his whole life: Thomas the Tank Engine. The chatter of many could be heard everywhere. "r u n3w?" asked a few guards. Andrew was about to bop them on the head when a being standing on a chair near the front was about to speak. "Hey!" shouted a few beings from the BIONICLE universe, not the Bionicles of the Randomverse. "You're Hydraxon!" Hydraxon R, lets call him that since he's from the randomverse, nodded. He smashed his yottaphone for a small while before he began to speak.
So yeah, that was my first chapter of my first comedy. Hubert P.H.D. (Pilkey Honorary Diploma) 09:44, June 28, 2010 (UTC)